9:30 Club, May 2003

RT-list post, titled "Word Unspoken"

Attending RT's 9:30 show, and preparing myself for the experience I wanted, took some work. I was determined to be right at the foot of the stage, as close as possible. I knew I would have to stand in line for a long time (I arrived at 4:40 and was the second person in line). It was raining and chilly. I chose my clothes carefully, particularly my shoes. I managed to park nearby so I could duck in and out of line to drop off my raincoat and make a stab at combing my hair.

I was particularly careful about my purse. I usually carry a great bag full of stuff I need, stuff I think I might need, and stuff that just makes its way in there. For 9:30, I packed the smallest purse I could find, one that hung off my shoulder, because I knew I would likely have to carry everything I needed and I wanted to be unencumbered.

I didn't think about the parallels between my preparation and "Word Unspoken, Sight Unseen" when I heard it that night, but I was particularly taken by that song's lyrics as I stood in the place I'd strived for, a few feet from the band's feet.

When I first heard the song, in a solo show some time ago, I thought it was about death--partly because of some otherworldliness in the music, and partly because of the imagery of taking down the trophies and other personal items, and "the walls washed clean." But there's a warmth in the chorus, a giving over of one's heart with an utter innocence that ought to be unnerving but somehow isn't. Or at least for me it isn't: Does anyone else think that this declaration that "I'm newborn to be your lover" will end in shattered dreams?

I was somewhat surprised to hear that the song was about a mail-order bride, but I can see it now. An idealized mail-order-bride situation, to be sure--not one that is likely to happen in real life--and somewhat squirm-inducing to me, as a woman, to imagine.

But Richard's songs are "about" something the way spring is "about" crocuses. Which is to say that one shouldn't limit oneself in experiencing them by aligning them with a vision of reality and overlooking the poetry in them.

I'm not expressing this very well, so I'll try to cut to the chase here: I experience this song as an image of surrender to something that brings hope. And it's totally within the moment; we don't know, really, how "if you'll have me, truly have me" will be answered. But it feels pure to me; it feels like it will turn out well.

Funny, though: "Pearly Jim" also involves giving yourself over to something else, and I think we know how that one turns out. Is it a coincidence that that song's title references the subject of the surrender, whereas "Word Unspoken, Sight Unseen" references the attitude, the process?

Pam (who knows only a very little about giving her heart)